We all experience a broken heart during our lifetime and it hurts, the pain can last a short time or we can carry it with us locked away in our hearts, internalising our feelings, burying them deep inside us, carrying on as other’s expect us to, and in turn creating our very own broken heart.
It may have been caused by a divorce, or a breakup of a romantic relationship.
It may have been caused by a death, either recent or long ago.
It may have been caused by an awareness that your life is not as happy or fulfilling as you want it to be.
Regardless of the cause of your broken heart, there is only YOU who really knows how you feel and it probably isn’t good as we carry the loss with us and the painful circumstances play out as we remember the good, the not so good and the pain it caused us.
Grief Recovery is NOT Grief Counselling!
My experience of Grief Counselling which I undertook over a six month period was to look to the past and analyse what happened, and in my circumstances I didn’t have a lot of the answers and was very frustrated and guilt ridden that I was not able to stop what happened to Jonathan. It did give me some coping strategies whilst going through the actual Coroners Inquest, but overall this dwelling on the past approach, at times I left the consultation feeling worse than I went in. But I am sure it has a place and other’s do benefit from it. I can only talk from my own experience.
I realised that I had to move out of these deep feelings of sadness, I was not depressed, I was bereaved and my whole life was in limbo. I would think rightly or wrongly that life was getting back on track, then I would receive a “left-flank” which would set me back. Life became ‘hard’ on a day to day basis. Now I just needed to put my life back on track and move forward.
GRIEF RECOVERY – A WHOLE NEW APPROACH!
My first reaction when I first read about Grief Recovery was wowsers! An actual way to “recover from grief”! why had I not been told about this before. Little did I know, that this training would change my life and in turn I would be able to help others and created The Sunshine Club as a vehicle to do that.
Grief is a neglected and misunderstood process.
Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behaviour and we are never taught how to deal with those feelings
So, what do I mean by conflicting feelings?
When a loved one dies, maybe from a long-term illness, you may feel a sense of relief that the suffering is now over, which you can see as being a positive, at the same time, you can no longer see, hear, feal that person, which maybe painful, driving negative thoughts – these are conflicting feelings and may I say also normal reactions to grief.
Divorce and/or the breaking up of a romantic relationship, again we have conflicting feelings of grief too, so you may experience positive feelings of moving forward and having freedom, whilst at the same time have regrets and painful feelings about the circumstances that have happened or the ‘how’ you are going to move forward with your life – these feelings are also normal reactions to grief.
So, what is RECOVERY …I hear you ask?
- Recovery means feeling better.
- Recovery also means taking control of your circumstances, instead of your circumstances taking control of you and your rights to happiness.
- Recovery is finding a new meaning for living without fear of being hurt again.
- Recovery is being able to enjoy past memories without them creating feelings of sadness, regret and remorse
- Recovery is acknowledging that it is perfectly all right to feel sad from time to time and to talk about those feelings no matter how those around you react
- Recovery is being able to forgive others when they say or do things that you know are based on their lack of knowledge about grief.
- Recovery is one day realising that your ability to talk about the loss you’ve experienced is normal and natural.
- Recovery means acquiring the skills that we should have been taught in our childhood, that allow us to deal with grief and loss.
- And, Importantly Grief Recovery is taking actions, however big and small that lead to recovery.
The 3 principles of The Sunshine Club: –
DISCOVER – Who you are
LEARN – how to move forward from grief and loss
GROW – to be the best version of yourself
Start the Journey of recovery with The Sunshine Club and let me show you how to move forward out of grief , completing on your losses and starting your new life chapter, for you!
Find out how to start the Journey of recovery by CLICKING HERE